Have you ever read something, an article or a phrase that described something you had been through or were currently going through just perfectly? I have had this experience twice, the first time with just a short phrase " I am still standing" short and sweet just four words that described coming out the other side, the positive healing side, of losing a baby. I read this phrase and realized I am still standing. I am a better person. I have new goals and ambitions for my life that I never would have had before. The respect for a relatively small community of people who know the bone crushing feeling of having a baby pass away.
The second was on article that I read in an online magazine that I love. It is titled "why nothing is impossible now" As I was reading it it was like I was reading exactly how I feel every day. It doesn't matter that is has been 4 years I still wake up in a dead panic during the night and go check on both kids just to make sure they are still there and still breathing.
"I used to believe if someone was pregnant, it meant a dimply, rubber band rolled baby at the end of it.
Before."
This sentence is me exactly. I was the epitome of optimism. Never once did I think I wouldn't have two healthy beautiful little boys at the end, no matter I was terrified of having twins I still never thought I wouldn't have two. Now I am completely the opposite. When I was pregnant with my daughter I felt like I was just waiting for something to go wrong. I couldn't see the dimply baby at the end. I had a "normal" pregnancy with her she was healthy and big, but it didn't matter I was still sure that something would go wrong.
Once something happens to you that shakes you to your core you are never the same. I will never be the optimist of being pregnant, but I have learned how to handle it.
Here is a link to the article. it is fantastic.
http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/01/why-nothing-is-impossible-now/
