I always looked forward to the holidays, they are my favorite time of the year. Now they hold a bit of sadness. They always will no matter how long it has been. On Sunday on of my favorite events is happening. The world wide wave of light. For 24 hours around the world there will be a wave of light to remember all the babies that are not here this holiday season. They do a ceremony at children's memorial park, last year it was amazing and touching. However you don't have to go to a special ceremony you can simply light a candle in your home or wherever you are. I am really looking forward to the ceremony on Sunday even though this year I will most likely be going alone.
Every parent grieves differently for some it may not be hard during the holiday season. For me I spend it wondering. What would he have been like? Would he have been excited? Would he be wanting the same toys that Kaleb does? And so many more questions.
I take comfort in the fact that they were identical, I can look at Kaleb and know pretty much what Jacob would have looked liked. But it doesn't mean they would have the same personality or liked the same things. This may be the things I think about the most. It is what makes losing a baby so much harder that some one who has had a longer life. But that is just my opinion.
I love that all the people get together and remember their children, their friends children's, it is a special time.
